Speaking From Experience

Dear MUB,

As a woman who went through this situation 20 years ago with my father, uncle, and stepfather, I am very upset with certain things I am seeing in your comment section. If you have never personally experienced this kind of trauma, I don’t think you can advise this young lady.

Let me share some points from my experience because I have had two children by my uncle and my stepfather, so I know how this feels. Firstly, we feel ashamed and disgusted. We’re not going to just walk into a police station and report it, especially if it’s an ongoing situation. In this young lady’s case, this is all she knows. Even though it’s sick, I know exactly what she’s feeling.

No one knows the fear we go through. Sitting in front of someone and telling them your story is not easy. You feel judged, even if the person may not be judging you. Secondly, the aftermath is worse than the actual event, and I hope if this young lady decides to report this, she’ll be placed into counseling immediately. Because when everything has sunk in, that’s when the real depression sets in. That’s when you begin to question your self-worth. That’s when you start having anger issues and attitude problems. You also start to distance yourself from everyone because your trust level is so low.

I know this all too well because I have lived through it twice. So I urge your comment section to please be more mindful, and if you have never experienced sexual abuse, I don’t think you’re fit to be giving advice.